Divine Page 5
“I have something to tend to in the kitchen.” Her mother fisted her hands and rose, her arm muscles tensing as if she would retrieve something wonderful.
She eyed Cal over the rim of her wine glass. A man any woman would consider a great catch, a compliment she often heard when they went out. One woman had the audacity to corner her in the ladies’ room and demand to know her intentions.
Cal had nestled into her life like a lost kitten giddy to find a home, and went out of his way to stay in contact with her. More than she could say for Matt.
Darn, she missed him.
“Here we are,” sang her mother as she flowed into the dining room with a large cake centered on an even larger tray. Mildred followed close behind with a pile of plates.
Bradley bumped her with his knee and positioned his glass of wine to speak behind it as if no one heard him.
They used to talk through text messaging but as soon as their parents caught on, they banned cell phones from the table and family gatherings. In their twenties, they resorted to whispering behind their glasses or ducking into another room. Either they behaved like teens and talked out whatever perturbed them, or they exploded on their parents. They chose the teen route and avoided their wrath.
“Are you gonna marry the slime ball?” Bradley whispered.
Her entire insides threatened to hurl out of her mouth. “What are you talking about?” she ground out between clenched teeth, hoping no one eavesdropped.
“You haven’t heard?” he chuckled and sipped his wine.
The days of grabbing the glass out of his hand and tossing the liquid in his face faded with her childhood.
“You’re the only one who doesn’t know he’s asking you to marry him this evening?”
On their own accord, her eyes rounded to the point she expected them to pop out of their sockets. “What? When?”
Coughing into his hand, Cal stood.
She tracked his movements as he rose and lifted a glass in the air. She blinked, hoping when she opened them another scene would be playing, but no! The man who wore an expensive suit no matter where he went beamed at her. When she rode her horse, he’d join her. In a suit!
“I love you more than life itself.” His voice was low and burning with intensity. “I promise you the life you’re accustomed to,” he said then chuckled. “And let’s face it, most people can’t.”
She threw up a little in her mouth. The nerve for him to think she couldn’t take care of herself. “I don’t need someone to support me.” She acted on her Dartmouth schoolmates’ teachings and refrained from frowning.
“Honey,” her mother said, “you can’t expect to keep working when you have little ones. A woman’s place is at home.”
Bradley choked. Red wine flew out of his mouth, splattered the white tablecloth, and soaked his arm.
“Now son, I’ve taught you better.” At the opposite end of the table from Mom, Dad waved his arm. “I never in all my days have seen such a lazy swine as I see in you. Go get cleaned up.”
Bradley did as his father said and patted her shoulder on the way out.
She picked up her glass, intending to act the same as Bradley, so her dad would send her out of the room too. Her clever mother touched her wrist. “Don’t you think it’s best to save the wine for the toast after Cal speaks his peace?”
His peace. Her hell.
Cal set his glass on the table, passed behind her mother and knelt on one knee in front of her. “If I don’t say this fast, I’ll bust.”
Please do.
“Will you marry me?”
She smacked her hands against her face. Sweat beaded on her forehead and between her breasts.
“Oh,” her mother slapped her hands together. “Trina is so excited.”
My life sucks.
“Will you become Mrs. Calvin Malcom Chamberlain?”
Trina inhaled the aroma of morning coffee from her mug and waited for her best friend to join her in their family room.
After a long stretch of time, Cadence Duvall escaped her bedroom, grabbed a cup of coffee, and sat on the couch, curling her legs under her. “What’s up? I can tell by your tight lips you have a secret.”
Dark-haired, green-eyed, her friend was as sireness as they come. Heck, she even had a girl crush on her. “I do.” She drank some caffeine. Telling Cadence something that would upset her, without receiving battle scars, was similar to taking a bear for a walk. Impossible. “Cal asked me to marry him last night.”
Despite having awakened a few seconds ago, Cadence’s ready-to-tango attitude sprung to life. Her face turned red. “You’re kidding me. No way can you marry Cal. He’s not right for you. Have you forgotten about Matt? Your dream guy? He’s the one you think about every night and every morning, the man who will one day give you a screaming orgasm. He’s the big bang! If you’d screwed Matt, you wouldn’t be in this position. You’re horny. You can’t make judgment calls when you’re horny.”
“Wow. Did you take a breath?”
“No. I need a second to refuel.” Cadence gulped her coffee.
She considered everything her friend fumed about. Hearing it from her perspective put a different, ugly viewpoint on the situation. “I didn’t answer Cal.”
“Not answering is a yes.”
In spite of how much her friend riled her, she knew the rant came from a sincere place. Blunt, honest, and would do anything for her, Cadence arched a brow. “Or a no to some people.” She uncurled from the couch, headed to their kitchen, and poured another cup of coffee. “I need a coffee keg.”
Good, she joked. “Only one keg?”
“Touché,” Cadence moaned into her cup. She made everything sound erotic.
“Just because you have a different guy every night doesn’t mean I’m making a decision based on celibacy.”
“Why is that exactly?” Cadence resumed her position on the couch. “Why are you celibate? You’re an attractive woman. Have a great body. Smart as a whip. And filthy rich. You’re the perfect nine.”
“I suppose you’re the perfect ten?” She arched a brow.
“I got these.” Cadence cupped one of her cantaloupe size breasts then playfully smacked her knee. “You know I’m kidding, but seriously, why? You’re young. It doesn’t make sense. Don’t you have cravings?”
I do have cravings! Orgasmic ones! But the man she wanted to fulfil them wasn’t talking. “There’s no time while working on a degree.”
“I was right there with you. I still got laid. Now I’m in a successful practice, but you, you have to become a neurologist, specializing in brain disorders. At least you didn’t become a neurosurgeon like your dad.” Cadence relaxed against the couch. “You messed up not going with me during the holidays. If you had, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”
She sipped the coffee from the cup she’d held ever since this ridiculous conversation started and had to agree. The sand running between her toes and getting a tan would have been much better than receiving an unwanted marriage proposal. “Bradley needed a second layer of defense against the snotty girl Mom insisted he date.”
“Really?” Concern laced her friend’s voice. A flash of something filled her features before disappearing.
If her problems didn’t muddle her mind so much, she’d put Cadence at the opposite end of the question firing squad.
“Being a doctor will do it for you?” Cadence sipped her coffee and tilted her head. “No nursery or petting zoo?”
A gorgeous genius, Cadence already did a kick-ass job as an allergist. She possessed an air that kept her world on a similar level, fun yet annoying. With the potential to see the truth within a person, to see what they needed, she questioned them until they admitted it! Relentlessly! Like now! Trina couldn’t let her know the doubts she had concerning her decision to become a doctor. Hell, who changes up after investing so much time into their future? “Yes, really. The brain fascinates me. Can I study yours?”
“Don’t think you’d want to see what
’s hiding in there. It’s scary!” Cadence giggled and covered an ear with her free hand.
She laughed.
“I don’t get it. Can you look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t go after your childhood dream because of your parents’ brainwashing? Come on. I know they forced you into doing things, just like they try to force everyone to do their will. I mean, think about it. Would you have gone out with Cal without your mother’s persistent nagging?”
She didn’t want to think. She wouldn’t have. He kept her busy, a nice distraction. Sweet and caring, he provided her with plenty of attention. When he pushed for intimacy, she discouraged it. Then one day she’d blurted, “I’m saving myself for marriage. I want my husband to be my one and only.”
The declaration had held him off.
Until… now.
“I wished I had said no immediately.”
Cadence rolled her head backwards then slowly brought it forward. “Yep!” she said, emphasizing the ‘p’ sound. “You’re a horrible, incorrigible person and I love you. You have to come clean to Cal and Matt. More importantly, to yourself.” She pinched her lips together. “You’re in love with Matt, not in lust. He’s not your buddy. He’s the guy you’ve always wanted. It’s about time you face it and act on it.”
She stared into her coffee cup, tears streaming down her face. Messed up, dating the wrong man. An ache penetrated every inch of her skin. The exact reason she couldn’t become a Marine’s girlfriend nipped her in the butt anyway. She couldn’t handle it. Yet, she had gone and done exactly what she feared. She fell so deeply in love with Matt, she became his girlfriend without him asking. No other man had a chance.
“Sweetie, I’m not sure what you’re doing or if you even know, but you need to take Cal’s ring off. It’s wrong, it's just wrong. You can’t lead a guy on this way.”
The alarm in Cal’s features when she didn’t accept it immediately ratcheted more guilt. She stupidly allowed him to slip the sparkling two-carat diamond on her finger.
Explaining her feelings toward him with an audience wouldn’t have been fair. She didn’t love him, but he didn’t deserve her rejection in front of others. Their discussion didn’t need outside input. Her mother wouldn’t have let her say much before she stuck her nose in the middle. “Wait!” She set her cup on the table near the couch, wiped her cheeks, and shot to her feet. “I didn’t tell Cal I’d marry him. I’m giving him my answer at lunch today. I would have said no last night, if—”
“If it hadn’t been for your mother,” Cadence finished for her. “She threw you under the bus. At every turn, she dictates what you should do. Sweetie, you have to stop allowing her. I know you want to be a good daughter, and you fought this good daughter-bad daughter image for years, but it’s time. Be honest and set Trina free.”
Her friend was right. She broke free in so many ways. She wore lounge clothes of cotton, not silk, not lace, or from an expensive designer store. No crystal, fine china, or status-packed figurines lined her furniture or shelves of her shared apartment, and no items screamed ‘look at me, I’m rich.’
The furry pillows with flowers on them, the ‘I love animals’ blanket tossed on the arm of the chair. The hand-carved end table she purchased from a store in Pennsylvania, she loved these things. They put her on the happy bandwagon. “Putting those accusations on me about my mom is wrong. I don’t live under my parents’ thumbs anymore.”
Cadence grumbled and set her coffee cup on the table.
Not a good sign. She never relinquished her coffee except for…a lecture.
Cadence grasped hers shoulders. “You’re the sister I never had. I love you and I will always be here for you. You can’t lose me, but you can lose the only man you’ve ever cared about. Matt is in Afghanistan. He can’t control when he can or can’t contact you, but you know in here,” Cadence touched a finger to Trina’s chest, “that he’s there. You’ve always known. My fear is Matt will somehow find out you put another man’s ring on your finger. You’ll ruin any chance you might have with him.”
“That’s ridiculous. How will he find out? Besides, plenty of people changed their minds. They get engaged, then call it off, get divorced, and find the one person they should have never let go.”
“Sweetie, I’ve seen Matt. I’ve seen the way he watches you, the way you watch him. If half of what you’ve voiced about him is accurate, which I don’t doubt for a second, then he won’t.”
She listened, believed her, but… “What if he’s moved on? He hasn’t contacted me. What if,” she paused to gather her thoughts. “What if all I’m supposed to have is nice? Cal is a good guy, a nice person. I have to wonder if I’m blowing my chance for a complacent life for something which may never happen.” Even as the words came out, a feeling crept over her telling her she was wrong.
“Let me ask you something. Will the woman who had to be at the top of her class, the woman who chose one of the hardest professions in medicine, be okay with complacent? Will you be content with okay sex and never feel the big bang of love?” Cadence released her shoulders, dropped to the couch, and grabbed her coffee. “I sure as hell wouldn’t be.”
No, but Cadence didn’t rely on facts, and the facts were she hadn’t heard from Matt. “Which is your decision. Matt and I haven’t agreed to wait for one another. We never said we’d be together. We made no promises.”
“Didn’t you, though? Didn’t he say next time, there would be no stopping?”
“Meaningless words from a man going into the military,” she said offhandedly.
“Was it?” Cadence, the voice of honesty, plucked the last bit of her doubt.
Nearly choking on the emotion clogging her throat, she rubbed a hand against the ache. “Cadence, he hasn’t contacted me in a year! If he was interested, he would have called.”
“Not necessarily. You’re giving up too quick. Losing faith, hope. This is not the person I know.”
Oh, God, did she give up too soon? Matt’s words had been so earnest. Was the distance over the ocean to blame for them not talking to one another? Still, it didn’t make sense. For the first three years, they communicated every week, then poof, he stopped. She’d checked the website every day for fallen men. His name wasn’t there, so why hadn’t she heard from him? Still, she shouldn’t settle. Shouldn’t allow her parents to push her into something she didn’t want. She managed to get out from under their grasp some, but she had a ways to go. “You’re right.”
“And the ‘aha moment’ arrived!” Cadence stood. “Finally! I worked up a sweat. I need a shower.”
Trina sat at a table on the outdoor patio of Molly’s café, tapping her foot against the brick floor and breathing in the aroma of hamburgers. She ran her hands over her lap, smoothing the nonexistent wrinkles in her dress for the fifth time.
Right thing or not, ending a relationship was nerve-wracking.
The bright January day, mixed with her disobedient thoughts, landed her with a headache.
A few tables filled a quarter of the patio with parties of two. She’d chosen the most isolated table in the corner, the least conspicuous.
“Hi!” said Tiffany, a twenty-something server. Her white button-down shirt with brown spots and the faded black pants had seen better days.
The last time she and Cal visited the café, Tiffany had flirted with him.
The server glimpsed the empty chair in front of the other place setting. “May I get you something while you—” she stumbled as her attention landed on Trina’s hand, “wait for your guest?”
Hell! The ring did a walk-about on her finger and now instead of the diamond facing her palm, hiding, it flashed everyone. If she only had the damn box, she wouldn’t have put it on so not to worry about losing it. She slid her thumb over the stone and swung it back toward her palm. “Yes. A Cosmo, please.”
“Sure thing.” The server left as Trina’s cell rang.
On more than one occasion when she arranged to meet Cal, he canceled because of an emergency at
the hospital. Hopefully, he wasn’t calling to postpone. Getting the courage to return his ring tried her resolve. It wasn’t that she couldn’t. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Relieve her brother’s picture flashed on the screen, she pushed the talk button. “Hi, Bradley!”
“H-e-ey,” he drew out the word low and rough, the timbre he used when saying something she wouldn’t want to hear.
She clasped her elbow to the hand, holding the phone, and hugged her arm against her stomach. The beveled glass top table held her gaze. “What?”
“I didn’t think. He was so excited.”
Blood pounded behind her ears.
“I couldn’t help but to jump in with both feet and tell him.”
Afraid she now lived Cadence’s prediction, she asked, “Who, Bradley?”
“Please don’t get mad. We hadn’t talked in ages and I lost it. I don’t even know how he got my number.”
“Bradley.” Groaning, her impatience dug under her skin.
“I told him you scheduled a lunch meeting at Molly’s Café. I didn’t think before I said it.” A long sigh came across the line. “I didn’t mean to cause problems. He tried calling you, but your cell went straight to voice mail.”
“Bradley, no,” she said in a long breath. “You didn’t tell Ma—”
“Hi, Trina!” The low, seductive voice came from beside her.
Her muscles tensed. Excitement and dread each fought for a stance. Matt’s voice zinged her body, excited her nipples to beads, and caused her to squeeze her thighs together. “Matt,” she breathed.
He looked good, too good. His worn jeans clung to his muscular thighs. The navy blue pullover brightened his heavenly eyes. Dreamy. His tanned face and five-o’clock shadow sent her gotta-have-it alarm screaming off the rails. Gorgeous, more striking than she remembered.